Tea with Cardinal Fratelli, # 17

From: Mary,

“Your Eminence, we just lost our family-dog, Buddy. This will be my children’s first experience of loss and I don’t know what to say. Should I tell them that Buddy is in heaven? Should I tell them that animals don’t have souls and they just go away? Help, I’m tongue-tied!”

Dear, Mary.

My, you have such a beautiful name…but yes, about the dog. I sympathize with your loss. Animals can be wonderful companions, even when they steal food from the table and sneeze on you… It’s best to inform your children about death in light of God. In this case, I wouldn’t declare it anathema to tell them dear Buddy is in heaven. The Good Lord created all animals and I’m sure he takes them all back somehow. Moreso, their crying, tantrums and begging for another dog will be eased by explaining that one day, they may see Buddy again.

In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli.

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli, # 16

“I am 42, a single mother and am seriously thinking about becoming Christian. However, there are different churches in my town and I don’t know which one to attend. I am just starting out with this and need a place that is comforting and accepting, where they won’t look down on a silly convert like me.

Sincerely,

Joyce.”

Dear Joyce,

Firstly, praised be God that you are considering the Christian faith! This will be so good for you and for your children- even if they are grown. Your spiritual journey will be hard no doubt, and confusing since there are indeed many, various churches which teach different things. Now, I’m not one to push and pry but the church that will benefit you most is one steady and well-established… anything founded after 1300 AD is probably no good. Also, stay away from churches that sing 60’s rock songs made into hymns…

Why don’t you come to the cathedral for Mass? I’d be very pleased speaking with you and sorting things out. This world we live in can be immensely chaotic and painful but verily, as you have discovered, Christ is the answer!

Yours in Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli.

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli # 15

From: Rebecca and Karen

“Dear, Cardinal Fratelli,

For our school project, we’re supposed to choose a role-model and write about them. My friend and I both decided to write our paper about you so tell us about yourself- and remember our grade is riding on this!”

Dear, Rebecca and Karen.

I am flattered that you see me as a role-model. God is the true source of goodness and only he can make me look good despite my clumsiness and vanity…

What should I tell about myself? Hardly anyone asks me about myself… Well, I am 34 years old, I grew up here in Lucca, which is in Tuscany, in Italy. My favorite things are tranquility and olives but I detest rudeness, disobedience and the color red. Yes, I know I must wear it every day… God likes displaying his wisdom with irony…especially if I’m involved.

In adolescence, I decided to give my life to God and become a priest. I treasure quiet, prayerful moments with the Lord when no one is around. Because I am the youngest cardinal of the Church, old age seems to ripen them for the job, I have difficult time getting respect, though it may seem odd to you. My secretary makes all these changes without telling me, my aunt behaves as if my decision not to marry is just criminal and when I meet people, they like to pretend my ring is invisible!

I’m sorry if most of this letter consists of my own vain prattling- but now, at least, you know something about me.

In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli # 14

From: Bill

“Cardinal Fratelli, let me be strait, I’m not Catholic but I’m not altogether opposed to Catholicism. My question is: why should we give so much respect to the Pope?”

Dear Bill,

Have you ever worked at a restaurant? We have many in Tuscany. When all the cooks work according to their skill and obey the master chef, everything comes out beautifully, the food tastes good and the service is polite. You may even get a free after-dinner mint.

However, when each cook is doing his own thing and ignores the head-chef, chaos ensues. The food tastes horrible, it’s burnt and the waiters are insufferably cranky… instead of dessert, you might get a pie in your face.

In every place, there is order and manager-ship. Without it, society crumbles. Common sense tells us that Christ’s Holy Church needs this too.

In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli # 13

From: Anna Thompson

“I wrote to you because you’re very wise. Some friends at my church youth-group keep telling me that Harry Potter is bad and satanic. They say it encourages witchcraft. But, I really like the series! Is it really bad?”

Dear Anna Thompson,

I’m glad you think me wise… but I’d better forget before this gets to my head.

Harry Potter…Harry Potter… I had to look it up online and read all the books before knowing what this actually was. While there is some dark imagery and what I suppose you could call “witchcraft” in these books, I believe that one must use discretion. Does Harry Potter make you want to go out and draw a magic-circle in the forest? If so, stop reading at once and repent!

If you consider it fiction and fantasy, like the fairy-tales about witches my Mama read to me, then do not worry. Your friends say it is bad because they care for you, in that perfect, intrusive, Christian manner, briefly consider it might be bad for them because they take it too seriously.

In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli, # 12

From: Silvia Garcia Perez

 “Your Eminence, I know you’re busy but can you please help me? My eldest daughter will not go to Mass and is setting a bad example for my other children.”

Dear, Silvia Garcia Perez,

 Don’t worry about imposing, I’m never too busy to stop and help someone in need, plus it gives me time away from my cluttered office.

Alot of children get a certain age when they dye their hair strange colors, listen to objectionable music and yes, don’t want to go to church. The best remedy for this is to allow your daughter to express her feelings while asserting yourself. Long as you are the parent, she shall go to Mass- even if it means dragging her out of bed, shoving a pop-tart in her mouth and slapping a chapel-veil on her head during the car ride there.

Trust me: after much yelling and whining, when she is an adult, she will thank you for this.

In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli, # 11

From: Charlotte

“I feel so ashamed to tell you this, Good Cardinal, but I think I’m pregnant. I’m not married either and don’t want my parents to find out. What should I do!”

Dear Charlotte,

How frightened you must be!! If you do indeed discover you are with child, immediately tell your partner about this… if you can stand to look at him. Do scold him harshly and if he refuses to marry you, kindly remind him that your father owns a rifle. Also, please tell your parents. They may be very upset at first and yell unsavory things but their love for you, their precious daughter, will overcome this.

Lastly, you should absolutely go to confession.

Being pregnant doesn’t have to be an occasion for sadness. Children are a blessing in their innocence, tenacity and eating as many sweets as they can and then running wild around the house. Moreso, I gently assert that children can be taught not to repeat the same mistakes as their parents.

God be with you, and Mary, the Mother of Jesus, who indeed also knows what it feels like to find unexpected surprises in her womb.

In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli.

Tea with Cardinal Fratellli, # 10

From Lucio Fontani,

 “Eminenza, I have been thinking I might want to become a priest someday. What should I do?”

Dear, Lucio Fontani,

 This is wonderful news!! There is no moment more beautiful than when a young man decides to dedicate his life to God!

However, before deciding you might become a priest, ponder whether you enjoy being anonymous, overworked, lonely, misunderstood, ordered around, pushed aside, falsely flattered, and disregarded… and did I mention being overworked? If you find all of these things enjoyable, priesthood may be the correct vocation for you.

And my son, while you do think of these things and try to retain goodly composure and sanity, you will be in my prayers.

 Yours In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli, # 9

From: Matthew

 “Umm…Mr. Cardinal, I just graduated high school and am looking for a job. Do you have any suggestions?”

 Dear Matthew,

Yes, show up at the cathedral on Saturday morning and I’ll pay you to whitewash it.

 In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli.

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli, # 8

From: Jacqueline,

“All of my friends are married or going to school or doing other things and I am very bored. How should I spend my time now that I am left with so much of it? Help me, Your Eminence, I’m going insane!”

Dear Jacqueline,

Do not despair and do not go insane for neither of these experiences are very pleasant.  Having alot of time on your hands is a gift from God, a time to grow spiritually and mentally, and to meet some goals, such as finally dusting those dirty bookshelves in your office, something which I myself have been putting off for a long time. In addition to growing close to God in prayer, there are plenty, long prayers you can learn- or make them up as you go along like I do, you could pick up a hobby or two. Gardening is very rewarding.

In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli, # 7

From:  Adam

 I have a problem getting attention from women and they avoid me alot. I’ve noticed the way in which some women look at you and like to be around you. Can you tell me how to attract them?

Thanks,

Adam

Dear, Adam

First, I wish you would tell me how to scare them away!

 In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli, # 6

From: Jaques

“Help me Your Eminence… I think I may be addicted to milk!”

Dear Jaques,

If you find yourself reaching from the milk-jug before noon and having to warm up a glass before you fall asleep every night, there may be a problem. Yes, you may desire it with your pasta and think its creamy sweetness with a plate of cookies will solve your problems- but any addiction can be harmful. I know from my childhood that milk can make you fat and goofy. Yes, I am embarrassed to admit I was a rather pudgy youth because of my indulgence in milk… Anyway this is about you-not me.

 In the case you are truly addicted and feel that dairy is taking over your life, cut yourself off from milk and all milk-products and do penance!

In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli #5

From: Hernando

Su Eminencia, I am having a problem with my son. He doesn’t listen to me and when I tell him to do something, he does just the opposite. How can I get through to him?

Gracias,

Hernando Lopez

“Dear Hernando Lopez,

De nada y Dios te bendiga. It is unfortunate that many children do not listen to their parents these days. When I was growing up, if I so much as talked back to Momma Maria, she would slap me across the mouth. Now, I don’t suggest you do that with your son. Instead, take a firm stance but be gentle and always represent yourself as a formidable authority.

One of my parishioners, whose name I will not mention, had an authority problem. He consistently defied me. Eventually I told him that should he fail to listen to his God-given authorities, his soul may be tortured and his eyes be poked in hell forever. It worked fairly well. When your son attempts to disobey you, remind him of the consequences and spare no details.

In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli.

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli # 4

From: X

“I don’t believe in God”

 Dear  X,

Look at the beauty of the world around you. I know when considering the evil that is in the world, it is hard to believe in a God, however do not forget the beauty and order that is in the world, in every creature, every little blade of grass and flower. Everything on earth shows evidence of a master design, even spiders as unsettling as they are.

It may seem that God is even cruel considering how many people believe that unless you hear God’s word in the Bible, you will go to hell. However, God does not damn those who through no fault of their own have never heard his Word. He may punish the wicked but He is Just. He takes into account the hearts of all men at judgment.

God is also there in the little quirks of life, those instances where it seems as if you are dreaming but you are awake. He has a funny way of allowing us to trick ourselves with our minds if we so chose but snaps us out of it by various situations…gravity for instance. Oh, you may not see God and find it so difficult to believe but there is Someone who sees and shares your every joy and sorrow. He is also present in the greatest of human emotions: Love.

Please sit alone in the beauty and silence of creation and open your heart. It is obvious something inside you is yearning or else you would have never written this. Search for the truth my brother because indeed Truth is a person and sometimes truth is found where we least expect it.

In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli # 3

From Josephine,

“Your Eminence, what is your opinion on Protestants?”

Dear, Josephine

Protestants are different. They have some strange ideas and strange notions on how the church should work. However, they are to be loved, like those odd members of our family who come around once a year, usually on Christmas, and argue with you. Sometimes, we get frustrated and want to yell “You are wrong!” – I know this has been my experience. Yet, should I have yelled, our fragile ties would be even more broken.

Yes, you may not agree with them and they might not agree with you but God says we are to love each other as we were first loved by Jesus Christ. Always remember that all Christians are children of God and believers on Christ. We all trust in the sacrifice of the cross for our salvation. This means putting up with the arguing and strangeness of our relatives and doing our best to make peace (even if we feel like locking them in the attic from time to time).

In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli #2

From: Ron Dee

‎(Bowing deeply.) Your eminence, I know of horrible difficulties here on the internet…you see, sometimes I think I know what I am doing, but it turns out that some of the time, I actually have no idea at all as to what I am doing, or at least what I am thinking I am doing.

And then I forget what I was doing when I got confused about what I thought I was doing, and, well, then it all starts all over again…(blush) I just so humiliated at myself sometimes, your Cardinalship…will you please say something that might help me???

Dear, Ron Dee,

There are times when all of us think we know what we are doing and then press ourselves onward thinking we can make no mistakes. I call these moments lessons from God, when he shows us how silly we are.

Computers can be very complicated but they are a reminder that we must be constantly learning new things and meeting the challenges our world offers. My own secretary had some troubles explaining the ways of facebook and google to me. I was very embarrassed by an incident when I searched for “old dolls” and ran into some very unsavory material!!

Consider it another lesson that God in his good time teaches us. Nothing makes the Lord laugh more than people who think they are important…I know this very well- especially when I trip over my own feet in the middle of the night, even cardinals end up making themselves look very foolish.

Yours In Christ,

Angelo Cardinal Fratelli.

Tea With Cardinal Fratelli, # 1

“Your Eminence, I love my beautiful girlfriend very much, she is the world to me. I am Christian and I want to save you know…that “special time” for marriage. However, lately, I am feeling tempted because she wants our relationship to be more physical. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Robert”

Dear Robert,

I know it can be difficult being young and having a beautiful girlfriend whom you love. However, it is vastly important to retain your virtue, both for the sake of your immortal soul- and to avoid bodily harm if her father finds out.  Remember to cherish your beloved’s more intellectual and spiritual attributes. If you are feeling tempted, still your mind and recite some prayers. The “Our Father” works very well.

When your girlfriend tries to make your relationship more physical, I suggest you do not yield to your urges but rather slap her on the wrist and say; “No means no!”

Yours in Christ,

His Eminence, Angelo, Cardinal Fratelli.

Tea with Cardinal Fratelli

Featured here in between postings of the good cardinal's misadventures, will be a witty, mock-advice column with good Christian values and a familiar character. "Tea with Cardinal Fratelli". Sit down, enjoy a cup of tea with the cardinal and ask for advice!